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THE DARK SIDE: Celebrating Human Achievement Day instead of Earth Day

David Ziemer

David Ziemer

Friday is what the progressives call “Earth Day.” I prefer to celebrate my own holiday, “Human Achievement Day.”

Fundamentally, the difference between the two holidays is that the progressives have led such sheltered lives that they believe that the earth is fragile, and humanity is heavy-handed. Those of us in the real world know instead the fragility of humanity, and the heavy-handedness of nature.

Progressives believe the government needs to pass regulations to protect the Earth from people. Those of us in the real world know the proper function of government is to protect private property, because without that, no one will undertake the hard work necessary to make life on Earth less nasty, brutish and short.

So, those of us in the real world will celebrate the amazing degree to which humans have made the earth relatively hospitable, via things like mines, the internal combustion engine, giant farm tractors, nuclear power plants, glass and steel skyscrapers, etc.

To celebrate the invention of electricity, I’m going to leave all the lights on in my house, all day, even while I’m at the office. After work, I’m going to make a point of taking a nice long drive in my 8-cylinder Buick Roadmaster, and tour the splendors of humanity’s efforts to survive a hostile planet.

When I do finally get home, I’m going to listen to John McLaughlin and the Mahavishnu Orchestra on the stereo as loud as it will play. And I’ll turn on the TV, even if I won’t be able to hear it with the music playing, just because it’s such an amazing invention.

Happy Human Achievement Day!

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Look for more from The Dark Side on David Ziemer’s new blog. Coming soon to wislawjournal.com.

4 comments

  1. Attacking Earth Day is truly being from “The Dark Side.” Conservation, respecting nature and keeping this planet liveable are admirable things. Rather than spend the day polluting things I suggest everyone who can go to a state park and enjoy nature. We only have one planet and we’d better do our best to keep it in good shape. Clean air and water are not luxuries; they are essential. So I hope everyone has a happy Earth Day.

  2. Roadmasters are EVIL!!!!

  3. I love my Buick Roadmaster and all 5.7 liters of its engine.

  4. You are not alone celebrating Human Achievement Day. I like a more positive approach to it though. It’s a day to celebrate the success of mankind surviving nature by extending our life expectancy as well as the life expectancy of all desired species. Advancements in medicine has tripled our life expectancy. Refrigeration has allowed us to keep that medicine useable. Refrigeration has saved countless lives, especially seniors, from heat related deaths, and at the same time makes our homes and cars comfy. It takes electricity to refrigerate our medicines, and the combination of both allows us to produce as much or as little food as we like. These advances give us the ability to feed the world. These advances cure terrible diseases like polio. And yes, these advances allow me to drive the car I can afford based on my ability to earn income. Human Achievement Day is a great holiday for all the world.

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