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The Dark Side

Nov 23, 2009

Commentary: FDA should have no power to ban caffeine in alcohol

On Nov. 13, the Food & Drug Administration sent notices to 30 alcohol manufacturers that they may be in violation of the law for adding caffeine to various alcoholic beverages. Since caffeine and alcohol comprise two of my four basic food groups (nicotine and lard being the other two), I am deeply concerned by this. […]

Nov 16, 2009

Commentary: Honor, solemnity must be protected

Last Thursday, a young woman I know, Sgt. Amy Krueger, was murdered, along with a dozen others, at the Fort Hood Army base in Texas. This woman was a friend of my roommates, and she would stay at our house when she was in town. She joined the military after the attacks on Sept. 11, […]

Nov 9, 2009

Commentary: Government promises subsidized health care to attorneys

Yesterday, I discovered that I am no longer young. Yes, I know, those of you in the Milwaukee Young Lawyers’ Association or the Milwaukee Conservative Young Professionals, or other organizations like that, could have informed me of this fact long ago. But I didn’t realize it until yesterday. Two things triggered the discovery. First, I […]

Nov 2, 2009

Commentary: Proposed bill could make me rich!

I think I might be leaving the Wisconsin Law Journal to go back to private practice, depending on the passage of certain legislation pending in the Assembly. I think it could make me very wealthy. Before joining the Law Journal, I spent nine years doing criminal defense, specializing in sexual assault cases. I tried many […]

Oct 26, 2009

Commentary: A contest to determine the most employee-friendly law firm

This week marks a first for The Dark Side – it’s the first reader contest! An award will be given to the reader who submits an entry describing why his or her law firm is the most employee-friendly in Wisconsin. First, a word to the wise. If your firm has previously been honored by another […]

Oct 19, 2009

Commentary: I can’t even be trusted to buy bananas

Over the weekend, I went to my favorite corporate-owned chain coffee shop. While there, I participated in a dastardly crime. No, I didn’t hold the place up with a gun. But I did buy a banana. How is that a crime, you ask? Well, I paid 90 cents for it; they were selling bananas for […]

Oct 12, 2009

Commentary: Picking peppers in the enlightened police state

Have you ever wondered who smokes the grape and peach flavored cigars that are available for individual sale in gas stations? Those few of you who are even less hip than I am may think, as the government claims, that these flavored cigars are “gateway” drugs, and the fruity artificial flavors are the enticement that […]

Oct 5, 2009

Commentary: Boohoo! Insurance rates are unfair

Here’s a story I’m sure you’ve heard a thousand times before: A middle-aged, middle-class attorney gets divorced, and moves out of his house in the suburbs. Still saddled with a large mortgage and confiscatory property taxes on a house in which he is no longer able to live, there’s not much money to live anywhere […]

Sep 28, 2009

Commentary: ‘Cash for Clunkers’ was de facto taking of property

The Cash for Clunkers program has come and gone, and like most, if not all, government interferences in the market, its primary effect has been to transfer wealth from the poor and powerless to the wealthy and influential. Consider its effect on a friend of mine, a young woman who, like most young people, doesn’t […]

Sep 21, 2009

Commentary: This funeral would be long overdue

On Sept. 11, Milwaukee attorney Alan D. Eisenberg defended himself before the Wisconsin Supreme Court, which is considering whether to sanction him for his conduct in filing a frivolous lawsuit. He said that he feared the hearing would be the funeral for his law practice. Hopefully, it will be just that. First, I’d like to […]

Sep 14, 2009

Commentary: When is a contract not a contract?

INSURANCE (in-shuur-ents), n. 1. An agreement by which one party (the insurer) commits to do something of value for another party (the insured) upon the occurrence of some specified contingency; esp., an agreement by which one party assumes a risk faced by another party in return for a premium payment.” (Black’s Law Dictionary (7th ed. […]

Sep 7, 2009

Amend, don’t end, the diploma privilege

The question of whether Wisconsin’s diploma privilege violates the dormant Commerce Clause by discriminating against out-of-state law students and law schools is back before the district court. The issue the court must decide, on remand from the Seventh Circuit, is whether legal instruction at the University of Wisconsin and Marquette provides sufficient education in Wisconsin […]

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