Commentary: Be the first to ‘like’ The Dark Side

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Several years ago, my friend Pilar announced to me that she had just gotten a MySpace page. She said I should do the same so that we could be MySpace pals, or something to that effect.

I explained to her that I was 40 years old, and if I had a MySpace page, people would think that I was a pedophile. She told me I was being a ridiculous old fuddy-duddy, and that nobody would think that.

Needless to say, however, when I broached the subject with friends my own age, they invariably agreed that, yes indeed, they would assume that any 40-year-old man with a MySpace page was a pedophile. So, I never did get a MySpace page.

But, I did recently join Facebook. Unfortunately, I’m not really sure what I’m supposed to do with the thing.

It seems to me the big question is, “Am I going to use this product to make my world broader, or narrower?” I’ve always figured that, as I go through life, my world should always be broadening.

Of course, that’s easy for me to say. I imagine if I had a wife and little kids in the suburbs, my social life might start shrinking to associating only with others with a wife and little kids in the suburbs. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Or if I lived in New York City, I could probably manage to see a different production of a play by Ibsen or Chekhov every weekend. My whole social circle might consist of people who go to the theater every weekend, without ever seeing a playwright other than Ibsen or Chekhov.

Living in Milwaukee, in contrast, you have no choice but to associate with people who have interests different from your own, and attend plays by second-rate dramatists.

This Facebook thing, though, seems tailor-made to allow folks to narrow their world to people who share exactly the same interests. If I get skilled at using it, I might eventually be able to circumscribe my whole world to fellow conservatives who play softball, read Dostoevsky and listen to King Crimson.

On the other hand, I could meet a whole bunch of new people with all sorts of views radically different from what I consider acceptable. I might become friends with soccer fans; or people who can tolerate reading Thomas Hardy; or people who actually like listening to Bruce Springsteen. It’s possible I might even meet people who think that United States v. Carolene Products, 304 U.S. 144 (1938), was correctly decided.

Then again, maybe I’m missing the point entirely. After all, I did set the page up while I was at the office. As far as the corporation that pays my salary is concerned, I’m sure the only relevant question is whether I get more people to read the Wisconsin Law Journal by starting this page.

Which really begs the question: “How will I get more subscribers by posting on my Facebook profile that I like Jews for the Preservation of Firearms Ownership, and People Eating Tasty Animals?”

I’m not sure how that will happen. But even if I don’t find new subscribers, I have become Facebook friends with Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. So, if you join Facebook, and become my friend, then you can tell people that you are Facebook friends with someone who is Facebook friends with Benjamin Netanyahu. How cool would that be?

It would certainly be a lot cooler than having people think you are a pedophile. And, by the way, Pilar has switched to Facebook.