Resilience: An often overlooked ally

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By Shawn Healy
Dolan Media Newswires

A recent study found lawyers have a rate of depression that is four times higher than that of the general population. The study also found lawyers have a rate of alcohol abuse that is three times higher than the general population. The data indicate not only that the practice of law is stressful, but that many attorneys cannot cope with the stress in a way that is not self-destructive.

Resilience is an internal mechanism that helps people adapt to stressful events and persevere in spite of obstacles. Those whose resilience is often put to the test (much like a physical muscle, resilience grows stronger when it is exercised) seem to be able to weather the unpleasant side of legal practice and prevent burnout and destructive behaviors.

Anyone can build resilience. Resilience is not brute force, and it does not come from the figurative wearing of rose-colored glasses.

Resilience is the ability to recognize and appreciate hardship, learn from it, and come out of the experience stronger than you were before. It has been described as “the ability to bend without breaking.”

The bad news is you cannot develop resilience without encountering hardship. The most resilient people are those who tackle hardship head one rather than shrinking from it.

The good news is the more you practice being resilient, the better you get at dealing with hardship. And let’s be honest: Eliminating hardships is not a real option, so you might as well get better at responding to them.

Here are some specific ways to increase your resilience:

• Practice cognitive flexibility

Ask yourself: “What else could this be or mean?” We get into trouble when we interpret events narrowly. By challenging our initial assumptions, we begin to identify opportunities that we would have never seen before.

If opposing counsel acts aggressively toward you, and you in turn always interpret that as a personal attack, you are giving yourself few ways to respond other than being defensive. In essence, you surrender control of your behavior to the other person.

However, if you can come up with a way to perceive the behavior as coming from something other than a personal attack (perhaps opposing counsel is intimidated by you), then you can feel and act differently. You might even feel more self-confident and respond with calm, professional behavior.

• Practice acceptance

Accepting how things are and recognizing what you have control over (and what you do not) can help you direct your efforts toward making changes that are within your control. Many people get into a routine of replaying over and over again in their minds a bad experience from the recent past. Eventually, many realize they are being weighed down by it.

Replaying the past does not change the present — and it actually damages you. No matter how much you wish for an alternative outcome, the past won’t change. Accept the past for what it is, and direct your attention toward what you can control in the present.

• Work with support networks

Turn to the people in your life who are supportive to you and who understand the stresses that you deal with. If you do not have people like that in your life, find some. They can help lessen the burden of stress, provide a different perspective, and offer encouragement, especially if they have gone through similar struggles.

Becoming resilient is always a work in progress. You need to be open to the idea that you can learn and benefit from any and every situation that you encounter. When you practice seeking out alternative ways to view a situation, this does not necessarily mean you will like what you find.

But simply having an option can reduce stress and increase your sense of control over your life.

After all, we all need to feel as if we exercise control over our own lives; just don’t waste your time trying to control something that you cannot. Let the weather be the weather, and instead tend to what you wear each day. MLW

Dr. Shawn Healy is a licensed clinical psychologist on staff with Lawyers Concerned for Lawyers of Massachusetts. He also writes and presents on a variety of topics germane to the practice of law. He can be contacted at [email protected].