When words fail you

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By Paul Fletcher
Dolan Media Newswires

Legal writing is no different from any other writing: It is best when it is direct and clear.

And the old truism is, well, true: It is harder, and takes more time, to write short rather than long. (Kind of like Dolly Parton’s crack that “it takes a lot of money to look this cheap.”)

Clarity and selection of the right words are important. Think of all the disputes in the case books that turn on a single word or the interpretation of a phrase in a document. Ho ho, you may say, that’s my job, that’s what I do.

True. But what about those times when you’re reading some case or legal document, and you run across a word or phrase that doesn’t look right. You have to go to Black’s Law Dictionary to get the definition. You discover the word meant something totally different from what you expected. The word is a little land mine, handle it wrong and it will explode, putting you in the case books.

Call that the moment when words fail you.

You don’t have the time to mess with these sneaky words. You want to spend your time writing directly and clearly. As a public service, we have herded 10 of the sneakiest legal words and phrases you might encounter, and we’re outing them. You’ll never make these mistakes again.

1. Tortfeasor.

Sounds like it would mean: Name of an ’80s big-hair metal band.

As in: Anthrax … Ratt … Dokken … Slayer … Survivor … Tortfeasor.

What it really means: The bad guy in a p.i. suit, wrongdoer.

2. Perpetuities.

Sounds like it would mean: A body part.

As in: “He’s been having a little problem with his perpetuity gland.”

What it really means: Lasting forever. See, i.e., the Rule Against Perpetuities.

3. Garnishee.

Sounds like it would mean: Parsley-like.

As in: “This plateful looks really plain. It needs something garnishee.”

What it really means: The guy whose money you’re taking.

4. Craving oyer.

Sounds like it would mean: A hankering for seafood.

As in: “Whenever I go to the beach, I find myself craving oyer, or maybe some crab.”

What it really means: Asking the court to do something.

5. Livery of seisin.

Sounds like it would mean: Something to do with winter, spring etc. Or something you’d hear on one of those cooking reality shows such as “Top Chef.”

As in: “Your dish lacks a little livery of seisining.”

What it really means: Delivery of possession of property.

6. Jus Tertii.

Sounds like it would mean: Bad-tasting, but healthy, beverage.

As in: “After our workout, let’s go to the health food store and get a jus tertii.”

What it really means: The right of a third party.

7. Demurrer.

Sounds like it would mean: More demure, having more demureness.

As in: “I found Elizabeth to be demurrer than Colleen.”

What it really means: Legal pleading to test the sufficiency of a claim.

8. Eleemosynary.

Sounds like it would mean: Kind of slimy.

As in: Something to do with eels or snails. OK, maybe you wouldn’t use it in a sentence … it just sounds kind of slimy.

What it really means: Charitable.

9. Barratry.

Sounds like it would mean: The thing that helps you start your car. Or maybe the companion of “assault.”

As in: “My Mustang needs a new barratry.”

What it really means: An admiralty term, a fraud committed in breach of the duty to a vessel’s owner.

10. Sua sponte.

Sounds like it would mean: One of those sparkling wines from Italy.

As in: “At their reception, Doug and Denise served wedding cake and asti sua sponte.”

What it really means: Action by a judge taken on his or her own motion.

You’re welcome.

Paul Fletcher is publisher and editor-in-chief of Virginia Lawyers Weekly, which, like Wisconsin Law Journal, is owned by The Dolan Co.