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COURT GESTURES: 50 shades of Craig

By: Eric Heisig//December 4, 2013//

COURT GESTURES: 50 shades of Craig

By: Eric Heisig//December 4, 2013//

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It didn’t exactly start like most 7th Circuit Court of Appeals opinions do. This one was written a little more, well, provocatively …

“In 2012, Bryan Craig self‐published a short book of adult relationship advice entitled ‘It’s Her Fault.’ And when we say ‘adult,’ we mean it in every sense of the word,” reads the opinion.

OK, maybe I overstated a bit. But as I read this opinion, I had to wonder whether my editor was going to walk by and say “what are you reading?”

The opinion, released Tuesday and attributed to Judge Ann Claire Williams, centers around a lawsuit filed by Bryan Craig, a former guidance counselor and girls’ basketball coach at Rich Central High School in Olympia Fields, Ill. Craig was fired from his job after publishing the book, and he sued to regain his job.

The appeals court upheld the firing, explaining that the book makes several references to his job. Students and teachers alike knew about the book as well, the opinion reads, and Craig at one point admits that he has a “’weakness for cleavage’ another portion of a woman’s anatomy and admits that this momentarily distracts him during his encounters with women.”

“Knowing Craig’s tendency to objectify women, defendants could reasonably anticipate that some female students would feel uncomfortable reaching out to Craig for advice,” the opinion reads.

But before the opinion got to that, Williams’ opinion also cherry-picks a few choice sections from the book. Like this one:

“Fellas, you ever notice how nice your girl is around payday … Noooooo, most men don’t notice, so, women, keep using that skill.”

There are also others on topics that I am far too dignified to repeat.

Read it for yourself.

Just make sure your boss isn’t right behind you.

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