Commentary: An idea for a new video game

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When I was a kid, I used to go to the bowling alley to play a video game called “Wizard of War.” Like most video games of the time, the goal was to navigate mazes and fight monsters of one sort or another.

Over time, video games became more realistic. Now, you can play a game called “Grand Theft Auto,” in which the object is to steal cars and engage in casual sex and random violence. We’d have loved that when I was young.

However, the most popular video game in the country today is actually something called “Farmville.” The object, as described to me by a young suburban woman who has probably spent less time on an actual farm than Paris Hilton, is to “plant crops, harvest crops and sell crops.”

Then, the players send each other messages on Facebook, saying things like, “I just bought a big red barn,” and “I was gathering in the chicken coop this morning and found some ‘mystery eggs.’”

I rather doubt that we’d have enjoyed this game when I was young.

But it seems to me that if this is the sort of thing that young people enjoy these days, we could make a fortune by putting out a video game called “Lawyerville,” based on what it’s like to actually practice law in Wisconsin.

Just think what fascinating Facebook conversations a game like this could generate:

Ashley: “I just won every single issue I appealed on in the Court of Appeals, but still lost the case.”

Brittany: “How is that possible?”

Ashley: “I don’t know. Something called ‘harmless error.’”

Or how about this:

Amanda: “I had a case removed to federal court, but the decision from the court makes no sense to me.”

Kyle: “What’s so weird about it?”

Amanda: “It’s like, instead of fashioning a legal rule to fit the facts of the case, they changed the facts to fit the rule.”

Kyle: “Yeah, they do that a lot in the Lawyerville federal court.”

This would be a common thread, I’d wager:

Megan: “I missed a deadline, but I can’t make heads or tails of the difference between excusable and inexcusable neglect.”

Justin: “That’s because ‘Lawyerville’ was designed by this evil genius named Ziemer, who set the game up to decide excusable neglect issues the same way they are decided in actual Wisconsin courts – a coin toss.”

Megan: “I don’t know if he’s a genius or not, but he’s definitely evil.”

Justin: “He’s just keeping it real.”

Surely, a video game like this would be far more exciting than raising imaginary crops, even if it would not be as exciting as stealing cars.

Unfortunately, I only know how to use WordPerfect, Westlaw and search the Internet. But if you know anyone who has the technical ability to create this game, please tell them about it.

Or if you simply have some good ideas about how we can mess with these kids’ heads, the same way that the courts in Wisconsin mess with ours, let me know, and I can incorporate them into the game.