So you think there is nowhere to turn?

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The story was tragic, and provoked wide comment among lawyers and blawgers on the Internet. A 59-year-old lawyer who had in his career been a senior Justice Department official, had argued before the U.S. Supreme Court, and headed the appellate law practice for his current law firm, was found dead in his office of a self-inflicted gunshot wound. The lawyer was scheduled to be let go from the firm, and his death came on his last day with the firm.

Psychological testing has shown that lawyers as a group have little or no “resiliency,” defined as “the ability to bounce back from criticism or rejection.” Despite our outward confidence, we are too often sidetracked into doubt and defensiveness. Lawyers, type triple-A personalities, are our own harshest critics during adversity. We are trained to win, to be at the “top of the heap” and succeed. That thinking leads far too many to tragic paths … substance abuse and even suicide.

Lawyers must find balance when taking personal responsibility. Often, the source of stress for lawyers is a sense that their practice is spinning out of control. Fear freezes us and keeps us from taking the necessary actions and decisions — until there seems to be no way out.

Lawyers facing such an impasse should pause and physically take a deep breath. For anyone feeling stressed out, the ultimate problem is fear of the unknown. If you find yourself stressed about your practice, do some brainstorming about just where you actually stand.

Start by listing all the types of matters you help clients with. Sort them by what you enjoy doing most, or by which has the best clients to work with, or by which offers the steadiest work.

Look at how much money you have coming in today compared to six months ago or a year ago. Make a list of which clients you can reasonably expect to pay you in the next eight weeks. Don’t worry about where you’ll end up with this process. By thinking through what you do piece by piece, you will be less overwhelmed by, and fearful about, the totality of it.
To this point, the analysis depends on the individual. However, isolation and lack of camaraderie with other attorneys can inhibit taking the right steps. By nature, we humans are gregarious and need to be connected with others. An outside perspective can be a critical ingredient in handling stress and making decisions that are not based on fear.

I’ve now extended my own coaching practice to www.LawBizForum.com, an online destination for lawyers, sole practitioners, partners, managing partners, of-counsel and in-house counsel, and in the legal community. The Forum will promote discussion about issues that enable lawyers to improve the personal and professional lives. As lawyers, our real job is to help others and make their lives better.

This helping, caring nature of the legal community sometimes is forgotten amid the psychological, social, and economic pressures facing lawyers, and I created this forum so that we can care for each other, both professionally and personally. I invite you to join us.

I deeply believe that no person is an island. Now, more than ever, it is essential for lawyers to validate that belief for each other.