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A letter to my family law colleagues

By: dmc-admin//January 15, 2007//

A letter to my family law colleagues

By: dmc-admin//January 15, 2007//

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Herman
Gregg Herman

Several weeks ago in this column, I felt that the Legislature needed some advice on family law matters, even though they had not (yet) asked for it. That expanded to some advice for appellate courts, then trial courts. It seems only fair that my unsolicited advice includes my own ilk, family law attorneys. So, here goes:

Dear Family Law Attorneys:

You are all great. No changes needed.

But, seriously. Here is my wish list for 2007, and beyond:

1. Walk the emotional tightrope. The tightrope we walk is to care about our clients without losing objectivity. We need to care because we are dealing with real life, real people, real children. However, if we care too much, we do no good for our clients. If we take the problems home, we cannot offer objective, valuable advice and our personal lives can become compromised as well.

2. Avoid the ethical tightrope. Occasionally, clients want us to counsel them in areas that get close to the line of ethical propriety. Don’t do it. Don’t even get close.

3. Don’t own the problem. Consistent with suggestion #1, the problem belongs to the client, not you. If you own the problem, you take it home with you and you will end up as a divorce client yourself. As much as you like your clients (or at least some of them), remember that they own the problem and the issues that led them to where they are will still be there after we are gone. We treat symptoms, not the underlying diseases.

4. Offer clients a menu of options. Pauline Tesler, the guru of the collaborative divorce movement, once said that doctors give patients a menu of possible treatment options; yet, historically, the only options offered by divorce lawyers have been trial or settlement. Today, mediation should always be a viable option before going to trial, even in cases where the positions seem too far apart to bridge.

As Winston Churchill said, “Tis better to jaw, jaw, jaw than to war, war, war.” In addition, family law attorneys should be trained in collaborative law techniques for those cases where it would work to the client’s advantage (see www.collabdivorce.com). For cases where a collaborative approach might not work, lawyers should belong to the cooperative divorce group (see www.cooperativedivorce.org), and have those principles available for the proper case.

5. Become a mentor or a mentoree. If you are new, find out which experienced lawyer is available to help you when you need help. While not abusing the privilege, call the mentor before making a mistake, not afterwards.

If you are an experienced lawyer, take a few minutes if asked to help out someone. We were all new lawyers once. Inns of Court were designed for the purpose of mentoring, and if you live in an area with a chapter, join it.

6. Get involved. Yes, practicing law is a full-time job. But it should be more. It should also be a profession. As a professional, it is our obligation to improve the system for everyone. There is a great need for volunteers and many opportunities. So, join the State Bar Family Law Section. Join a committee. Contact your legislator when he or she has stupid ideas. Join the ABA Family Section, which has numerous ways to be active (just ask me!). Volunteer for legal services or, if in Milwaukee County, for the Self-help Clinic.

Last advice for all of my readers: Have a happy 2007!

Gregg Herman is a shareholder with Loeb & Herman S.C. in Milwaukee, which practices exclusively family law. Herman can be reached by e-mail at gherman@ loebherman.com.

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