He speaks!

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By Brian Frasier
Dolan Media Newswires

“He” is U.S. Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas.

Monday, for the first time since Feb. 22, 2006, Thomas spoke actual words during oral arguments, uttering “Well, he did not …” according to the official transcript. (The Associated Press via NY Times.)

So what was so important that Thomas broke his moratorium on speaking during oral argument? Everyone’s favorite pastime … making fun of lawyers! Even if the court reporter didn’t get his entire joke.

Some eyewitnesses told the AP that Thomas was making fun of lawyers from Yale, his alma mater. Others said it was Harvard lawyers that were getting the raspberry. Either way, I’m sure it was a ripsnorter.

Thomas hadn’t spoken in so long, he’s explained, because people do too much talking in oral arguments.

“I don’t see where that advances anything,” Thomas told The Washington Post in 2012. “Maybe it’s the Southerner in me. Maybe it’s the introvert in me, I don’t know. I think that when somebody’s talking, somebody ought to listen.”

EF Hutton never said it better.

Thomas told C-SPAN in 2009 that oral arguments are “an opportunity for the advocate … to fill in the blanks, to make their case. I think you should allow people to complete their answers and their thought, and to continue their conversation. I find that coherence that you get from a conversation far more helpful than the rapid-fire questions.”

But there’s always time for a sidesplitter, amirite?