Laugh it up

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Mediators are not comedians.

But some say that the relatively informal setting in which they work does allow for the occasional injection of humor.

A little levity can go a long way in helping parties relax and settle their differences, said David J. Hase of Cook & Franke SC.

“It isn’t something I really think about a day or two in advance where if a certain situation arises, I’m going to tell a Henny Youngman joke,” he said. “But sometimes there’s really a need to relieve the pressure so that parties can start thinking more clearly.”

Even though mediations can be less intimidating than a courtroom atmosphere, Milwaukee mediator Joseph D. McDevitt agreed that comedy can be a useful tool to lower the anxiety levels.

In his experience, it largely depends on the nature of the case and the people involved as to whether one-liners will promote a resolution.

“I try and use humor usually in personal injury cases, especially for plaintiffs to get them relaxed because they can be very uptight when they come in,” he said. “But when you are dealing with parents in the death of a child, it’s never appropriate.”

Discretion is crucial, according to Michigan mediators Wanda K. Joseph and Bill Waters, who have worked to legitimize the use of humor in conflict resolution.

The two presented on the topic at a Wisconsin Association of Mediators conference in April and said often times people take themselves too seriously in mediations.

“It’s not so much about jokes or laughter, but lightheartedness and being able to go into a difficult conversation with a sense of humor,” Joseph said. “That gives people a sense that we can make this work.”

Milwaukee mediator Kathleen M. Baird rarely incorporates humor into her sessions because she doesn’t view it as a personal strength.

However, she said clients often dictate when a little glee is needed to relax.

“I’m not a person who does humor very well,” Baird said. “But sometimes clients on their own use humor to release stress or establish some sort of rapport.”

If used the right way, humor can create a comfortable and safe environment for parties, noted Baird.

But as someone who does primarily divorce mediations, she also said there is a danger of coming off as insensitive.

It takes a skilled mediator to effectively use humor, said Waters, especially in an arena where comedy can still be taboo.

“I think it works best when there is an impasse and people wonder, ‘what do we do now’,” he said. “There might be a place for a humorous anecdote to get people off a solid position and flex a little.”

He also said at the outset of a mediation, an ice-breaking joke can set the tone and keep the mood light.

McDevitt said he often uses a self-deprecating style to put parties at ease, but spontaneity and timing are essential.

Pre-planning a “routine” is not a good strategy, said Hase, because it’s hard to anticipate the personalities of parties and how a mediation will flow.

“It’s not likely that a person will tell a lot of jokes and that hasn’t happened in my case,” he said. “Most of this is an effort to introduce a little lightheartedness into the discussion without trying to put yourself on center stage.”

Jack Zemlicka can be reached at [email protected].